I often reflect on the contemporary ideals and values of the modern world in which we live, and as an integral part of this modern society, as I ask myself questions and search for their answers, my daily life confronts me with more and more examples of today’s vulnerabilities in communication as a fundamental element. In fact, the main question is: Why, when there are so many opportunities to express ourselves and share information about ourselves, do we often remain misunderstood? Have we truly lost our ability to communicate effectively?
The truth is that we are living in truly momentous times—times in which an entire society is driven by technological progress. We all believe that we are more social and more connected than ever before, free to share every experience and even our most intimate thoughts with a circle of strangers whom we so readily call our friends. We live in a world of unlimited possibilities. But where are the connections breaking down in modern social interaction? Are we really as social as we think we are? And why does it seem as though we feel increasingly lonely when we’re together and happier when we’re apart?
The answer isn’t that simple. Our modern culture places the greatest emphasis on unrealistically positive expectations. The idea of being happier than others has become a vital criterion and a key stereotype in human behavior. Being richer, more famous, smarter, sexier—basically, just being “more” than others—are the main ideals we pursue in today’s mediocre world. Let people envy you even more, let them admire you, and let you have a million followers—be incredible and perfect. This, in turn, generates a multitude of alternatives.
We’re bombarded from all sides by advertising campaigns, slogans, billboards, posts, and stories, because we’re all part of a social experiment conducted by advertising agencies and invisible victims of the mass media.
But information, however wonderful it may actually be, comes at a high price—one that is immeasurable.
I recently went to visit my grandmother, and while we were sipping our coffee, she pulled out some old, tattered letters that she seemed to cherish dearly. Letters she and my grandpa had written to each other while he was in Poland. Letters you wait a whole week for, unable to wait to open them, just to realize how much someone thinks of you and how much they want only you. So, my grandma and grandpa were separated by something their whole lives. Journeys, time, distance, relatives, work. My grandmother is Ukrainian, and my grandfather is no longer with us. And to be honest, my grandmother really moved me with those letters, which she seemed to pull from the depths of her soul and decided to share with me. We both cried a little.
I’m so happy that I got to see them and read them, because there’s so much energy in them, because every word carries so much meaning and pain that can still be felt even after all these years. Even in the details—like what time and where the letter was written, or what my grandfather had for dinner—there’s so much charm, because my grandfather loved my grandmother so much that he would have died 100,000 times for her, and she would have died twice as many times for him. It’s like a romantic fairy tale between two people connected in some strange way. A fairy tale you want to reread over and over again.
We are living in the most advanced era in human history from an evolutionary perspective, because the Internet is truly a great thing, but this discovery, with all its positives, also hides its pitfalls. The inability to create genuine connections with one another, to form strong relationships and families, and to trust one another has become a fundamental problem and is part of the minor side effects of frequent use of social media apps and our deeply ingrained consumerist mindset.
The era of selfies, influencers, and social media is a machine for creating mass clones, social stereotypes, and a false reality that erodes trust and creates an illusion of opportunities waiting for you out there.
Are we perhaps on the brink of an existential crisis or a widespread epidemic of a socially adrift society?
Aren’t we all turning into mentally ill, shallow people because we’ve forgotten what natural face-to-face communication is and how to build lasting relationships with one another—relationships based on unrealistic profiles? Could it be that the many options we only think we have are disrupting the kind of communication that is so vital to our mental health? Driven by choice and a multitude of possibilities, are we losing interest because we’re always chasing something faster, better, more beautiful, and more meaningful, and remain blind to what’s truly real?
We live in a race and in a constant pursuit of “more.” That “more” will eventually ruin our lives and fill our emotional trunk with new forms of fear and a lack of trust in people.
Unfortunately, these are irreversible consequences. I don’t know if I myself am suffering from this so-called “social flu,” but I am convinced that an unhealthy pursuit of perfection and a lack of understanding can be cured, because the cure for lost communication is communication itself.
But sometimes you don't have to speak to be understood.
It just takes courage to try to be like my grandmother and grandfather.
